..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
