New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
