i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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