So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
