You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
