Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize