Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
