susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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