honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
