girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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