are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
