Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize