i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
