New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
