I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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