And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
