It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
