I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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