her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
