I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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