You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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