if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
