I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
