Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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