Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i think im in europe. pls send help
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