So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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