That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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