Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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