its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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