He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
