wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
