we're blogging at a bar
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
