what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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