is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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