Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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