wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
