I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
