I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
