Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
