i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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