Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize