the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
