I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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