oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize