I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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