return my video game
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
