I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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