The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
