well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
