No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
