she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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