I think I died a long time ago.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
