If i come over, it means nothing
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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