idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
