is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
