I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
