I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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