singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
