one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
