Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
