And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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