I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
