R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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