how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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