It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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