He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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