i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
