So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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