Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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