Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
