i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
