question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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