I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
