and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
