Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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